Helping Teens Ask for Help Part 4: The Ask
3 Ways to Communicate Your Needs and Get Positive Results
Although we cannot control how people perceive us, how they hear us, or how they respond to us, we can still take steps to help them understand and make positive results more probable.
This part of communication learning, after identifying the need and constructing the communication, is actually putting the communication out into the world, to trusted others if possible. The follow-through here is also important. If one person is not able to understand or help you get what you need, then you keeping going. You don’t stop at the first try. It’s not easy and can actually be hurtful at times if your communicated need does not get met, but you must keep trying. Go to the next trusted person or even someone who can help guide you to the next trusted person. This is a lot for teens, pre-teens, and young adults to move through. They don’t yet know all the resources, even if the resources are abundant. Google is actually a really good tool these days and if they know how to type in the right descriptor words, it may help find exactly what they’re looking for in positive way. Here are three ways to effectively communicate and have your needs met appropriately.
Make a list of people that you think could meet your need. It can be disheartening when you ask someone who is not ready or able to address and/or meet your need. Google can be a friend here too, if you are needing a professional to help you with your need. Who is good at managing hard feelings? Who would be a role model for the relationships I want to have? Who do I see knowing a lot about math? Staying calm? Being awesome at _________?
Choose a person from your list to start with. Ask the person if they have time and if not now, when could they spare a good amount of time to listen to you and possibly help? Making sure they are not in the middle of something else that would not allow them to fully give attention to you. Let them know it is important to you and deserves direct attention.
It’s okay to get a second opinion! Did the person you picked first not meet your need? Didn’t quite understand you? Go to the next person on your list. Don’t give up! Keep reaching out until you find someone that helps you in the most positive way possible.
For more information on getting your team the help they need, please contact me! Elizabeth@beachcottagecounseling.com
